Many Forms of Mother

 

For many, the word Mom or Mother represents a term of endearment.  This probably explains why Mother’s Day gets top billing over Father’s Day. 

Americans spent $33.5 billion on Mother's Day-related gifts and activities in 2024. The numbers for Father's Day were $22.4 billion last year.  There are some reasons for this with guilt being a top motivator.  We’ll leave it at that. 

Mothers fulfill an important role in our lives, as do all women.  A woman doesn’t have to be a mom to be a mom.  My friend, Donna, has made a couple of trips to Nepal to help out the churches there, where Christians are persecuted.  The person in leadership of over 100 churches there calls Donna, “Mom.”  It would not be proper to call her by her first name, so she is given that title.  She has made a great impact on his life.

We have a friend from Tanzania, Africa.  His home language is Swahili.  We don’t speak Swahili. Our language is Hoosier (look it up).  In their country, they show respect to an older woman or man as “Mama” or “Papa.” Linda is Mama, and I am Papa. These are terms of endearment.

When Jesus was on the cross, he looked down at his mother and the Apostle John standing with her.

            ²⁵ Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. ²⁶ When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” ²⁷ and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home. (John 19:25-27 NIV)

Jesus was asking John to take care of his mother.  He was also asking his mom to take care of him.

Women who play a significant role in someone’s life can be a mom, mother, or mama.  They become our nurturers, cheerleaders, and inspirers in our lives.  They are there for us, love us, and guide us.  (Check out my story about Grandma Frye in the February 16, 2024 post, “Circle of Friends” to illustrate this).

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO YOU!

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Ignorant Misunderstandings

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Ignorance is a misunderstood word.  One might be called ignorant, but we somehow hear “stupid.” They are not identical twins or even distant cousins.  Ignorance does not mean a lack of intelligence, but of knowledge.  For example, what is hereditary hemorrhagic telangiectasia?  You don’t know?  You are not stupid, but ignorant.  You don’t have the information.

I have to remind myself that there are people around me that act unkindly or out of sorts.  My reaction might be, “What a selfish individual.”  How much do I know what that person is facing.  Perhaps they are ill, recently had some bad news, are hungry, or ate something that makes them nauseous. 

I have hereditary hemorrhagic telangiectasia (known as HHT).  It is a genetic bleeding disorder. Over 95% of us have frequent severe nosebleeds. You would look at me and probably say, “I don’t see anything wrong.”  First of all, thank you for saying that.  There are plenty of disorders that people can see.  They get the attention.  That’s not to take away from the other ailments, it’s just a fact.  If I ask for a seat on a busy transit train, people might say, “What’s his problem?” If I were on crutches, they would understand. 

We never know what others are facing, so it’s important not to jump to judgement.  This is especially handy in traffic.  Avoiding road rage is a good thing.

Jesus was going through a tough Friday. The calendar calls it “Good Friday,” not because it was good for Jesus but because it was good for us. He took our burdens, mistakes, disorders, and imperfections on himself so we would not have to carry them around the rest of our lives. 

This was brilliantly portrayed in the movie, “Mission,” starring Robert De Niro as a priest who formerly enslaved the natives of Paraguay, but also killed his brother in a duel over a woman. I invite you to see the clip below. He carried a heavy weight in a net, up a mountain as penance.  It reminds me of what Jesus did for me while carrying his cross.  Because he took my load, I didn’t have that burden. Later, true forgiveness came amidst the wave of emotions and relief. (especially look at timestamps 146-259).

Suffering is difficult, but it can become our mentor regarding life, character, and relationship with others.

(c) Wally Johnston 2025

THE EXPENSE OF INDEPENDENCE

 

Today is Independence Day, for those living in the United States.    John Adams wanted July 2nd to be the official start of our nation since the Declaration of Independence was ratified on July 2, 1776.  Here is what he said;

“[Independence Day] will be the most memorable Epoch, in the History of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival… It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade with shows, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this continent to the other from this Time forward forever more,”

 What words come to your mind when you hear, "The Fourth of July?" Fireworks, ice cream, parades, cook outs, etc.  Probably few of us think of "sacrifice."  Yet without it our nation would not have come into existence.  

Someone in our family's past sacrificed for us to have a free America.  Who was it for you?  We are a land of immigrants.  Some, like myself, had people here from the beginning.  My 10th great grandparents came over on the Mayflower in 1620 and my 5th great grandfather William P. Johnston, fought in the Revolutionary War.  Some may be newcomers to our country.  Maybe you are the one who sacrificed for your family.  The problem, it's not a "One-and-Done."  Once our freedoms were established, we have to keep fighting to protect those freedoms.

The Founding Fathers disagreed on many things, but they knew compromises were needed to see the work of freedom happen.  Our nation has revealed growing pains through the years.  With those pains have come division (just look at the Civil War).  Siblings can have some painful fights, but if an outsider threatens, they pull together.  We saw this in most of our wars and even 9/11.  

In 1858 when Abraham Lincoln was running for the U.S. Senate, he gave his "House Divided Speech. In it he said, in part, "A house divided against itself, cannot stand," in reference to Jesus' words in the Bible.

Replica of Lincoln Inaugural Bible, (C) 2024 Wally Johnston

In many ways, we are divided today, at least if you read social media and the news.  Personally, I don't think the division is as bad as it appears, but it is divided.  If the divide gets too large, our "house" will fall.  With that in mind, what are you willing to sacrifice to save this great nation?

NEW YEAR FISH!

As we approach a New Year, we may think things don't look too promising.  If we only look at the news, we will get a very negative view of things.  It seems like people's enthusiasm has dwindled. What would happen if we shared some enthusiasm in 2024?  What might it look like?

My wife and I were on our way to visit my new hematologist.  His office is in the Doernbecher Children's Hospital in Portland, OR.  It is certainly a different atmosphere than one finds in a typical doctor's visit.  While walking down the halls, you see children and families everywhere, along with multi-colored decals on the walls.  Each nurse's station was identified by a certain animal.  We walked past elephants, giraffes, lions, etc.  I don't remember what my station was, but knowing my luck it was a laughing hyena!

There was this beautiful large aquarium.  When we walked by, a little girl, with great enthusiasm yelled "Fish!"  She didn't want us to miss it.  Apparently, she didn't want anyone else to miss it either. Everyone who walked by got the same enthusiastic message.

I can't get that little girl out of my head.  Now, throughout my day, I yell, "Fish!"  My wife has even caught on!  Try it.  Whenever you need enthusiasm, think of this story and yell, "Fish!"  It sounds so simple, but what it can do to lift your spirit and get excited about something is amazing! It is contagious. Spread the "Fish!"

‘Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement,’ writes Rabbi Abraham Heschel because ‘everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.’*

*This phrase is used by Julian E. Zelizer in Abraham Joshua Heschel: A Life of Radical Amazement, (Yale University Press, 2022) p.88

HAPPY ENTHUSIASTIC NEW YEAR!

FOCUSED

 

I’ve had a hard time getting to this post.  Every time I start typing, another topic comes to mind and I get that started.  I have a string of post beginnings but none completed.  I don’t know about you, but I have several projects going on at one time.  I wouldn’t call it multi-tasking, but rather multi-doing.  I’m a multi-doer.

 My doctor once called me a Renaissance man; “a man with extraordinarily broad and comprehensive knowledge.” (Well, mine may not be so comprehensive).

Consider the different jobs I’ve had: grocery stock-boy; steel worker; lawncare; janitor; radio disk jockey; after-school childcare worker; pastor; counselor; police chaplain; writer; author; speaker; computer consultant; blogger; and more.  I’ve gained a lot of working and life experiences.

To be honest, I’m only a Renaissance man because of YouTube.  I’m a do-it-yourselfer.  I’m willing to attempt things I’ve never done before.  When I was in graduate school, I had lean finances.  Growing up, I depended on my brother for car repairs.  Now I was far away and had to learn car mechanics myself.  So, I bought a repair manual and did my first brake job.  The word got around at school that I was a “mechanic.”  Other students started calling me to work on their cars.  I would say, “I won’t charge you, but if I need a tool to get the job done, you’ll buy it.”  I had a good start on a tool collection.

 Out-of-focus means we don’t see things clearly.  That is why I can’t stand dirty eyeglasses.  The blur makes things look fuzzy.  Now I have cataracts.  Sometimes you don’t notice that your eyesight is changing because it is a slow process.  When you put on your new glasses, what a difference.  Like the song, “I Can See Clearly Now…” 

 

How to stay focused:

1.     Stop making excuses.  I have several physical ailments.  Sometimes it provides an excuse to not finish something.  I have to ask myself, “Am I really that tired that I can’t at least do some writing?

2.    Have an accountability person.  It’s like trying to lose weight.  If you have someone who has joined you on your quest, it becomes easier.

3.    Quit looking at the big picture.  When I buy ear swabs, I buy them in bulk size.  My wife will say, “Why did you get such a large pack?”  I use several swabs a day, who knows how much she uses.  Before you know it, the mountain of swabs becomes a little hill, and then it’s time to re-order.  Buying bulk saves money, and cotton swabs don’t spoil, right? (BTW...We just opened our second, huge box of Costco cotton swabs.  I smile at my brilliance in shopping :)).

4.    Get rid of distractions. My dad was a sports nut. He would read the newspaper's sports page with the radio and TV on to different games.  He would fall asleep on the couch, so I would turn off the TV.  He would wake up and say, “Hey, I was watching that.”  “Really,” I’d say, “What is the score?”  He replied, “Never mind, turn it back on.”

5.     Is there something else contributing to the problem?  I also deal with perfectionism.  We tend to start something but may be afraid to finish it because it may not be “perfect.” 

6.    Perhaps it may be a health issue.  It may be time for a physical and medicine check.  Perhaps your doctor and prescribe something that doesn’t say, “Sleepy, dizzy,” on the bottle.

I’m glad we had this conversation today.  Now I need to put my feet to my own recommendations. 

QUESTION: How do You stay focused?  

Please share your comments by clicking the pencil below.

 

 

BOYS 'N BIKES

One of the great joys of growing up in Indiana was riding bikes. I know boys ride bikes elsewhere, but this is My story :) Riding bikes was second only to playing baseball. Baseball was sacred…we were all Cubs fans!

Back to bikes. We would attach a playing card at the back wheel so it would hit the spokes. I can see you are not impressed but we thought it sounded like a motorcycle. We jumped ramps in the street like Evil Knievel (if you don’t know who he was, ask someone older). We had races. The great challenge was seeing who could ride the most circles in Fergeson’s driveway. I think I held the title at 300 times. The Guinness Book of Records wouldn’t come so we told our friends and family. I think that record stands because everyone else moved on. Who wants to waste their time going around in a circle? Where is the dedication?

I read a story recently about two boys in Indiana who rode bikes together. They were going by a cemetery where a fallen soldier was being laid to rest. The boys approached as they begin playing Taps. Without communicating with each other, they laid their bikes down at the same time and stood at attention. At the conclusion of the music, they hopped back on their bikes and rode on. Little did they know a neighbor saw what was happening and took their picture.

 In an age where some picket at funerals of fallen soldiers or police, these boys paid their respects. I would say what they did was more important than riding a bike in circles.

The original story can be seen at Good News Network

HUMAN BRIDGE

 Many years ago, in the days of black and white TV, I saw a video about a brother and sister walking around a low ledge on a building. They were doing fine until they came to a break in the ledge. The boy takes one leap to the other side, but the little girl is intimidated by the gap. So the boy jumps back, lays down over the gap so his little sister can cross over by walking on him. It’s a cute video. View it below:

I think we can learn a lot from this boy’s example.

Comments:

• We need to regain the notion of self-sacrifice

  I’ve seen what happens to kids who have been given everything. When I was a youth pastor in Southern California, we had a kid in our group named “Joey.” One day he “borrowed” a limousine and took some of the kids for a joy ride. Another time, after I had a sharing time with the group, Joey came up to me and said, “After what you said, I think I should give you this,” as he handed me a knife, I’m talking the kind you get in trouble with! Every time Joey got in trouble, his Mother would cover for him. After I moved away, I heard he did something his Mother couldn’t shield him from—he ended up in prison for armed robbery! His mother sacrificed herself for the wrong reasons and did her son no favors. Joey was too self-centered to sacrifice for another.

• There are advantages to chivalry

  I know I’m old school, but I miss the days when women were shown respect. It shouldn’t be a big sacrifice to be polite to others. Nowadays, if I open the door for a woman, I mean a gal, no I mean...well you know what I mean, in public, she might give me a stare like, “Don’t you think I can handle this myself!” Still, others show a grateful smile as they go through the door.

• Jesus laid down his life for us.                                              He sacrificially gave (laid down) his life so He could bridge the gulf between us and God.  We just have to be willing to cross the Bridge in faith.

Who can we encourage today by being a “Human Bridge?” We shouldn’t let people walk all over us, but there are little “sacrifices” that can make someone’s day, and yours.

MR. GRUMPY

I play an imaginary character for my grandkids, Mr. Grumpy. He comes out with these funny translucent eyeglasses and yells, “Hey you snot-nosed kids!’ (Refer to photo).  One of his favorite phrases is, “That makes me really mad!” He reminds me of Mr. Wilson in Dennis the Menace. He’s the neighbor who can’t stand Dennis, on the outside. But deep inside he really cares for him. My kids love Mr. Grumpy, sometimes more than me (well, maybe not). Sometimes, when Mr. Grumpy heads to another room to become Grandpa again, my five-year-old- granddaughter grabs me and says, “No. Don’t go!”

Mr. Grumpy

One day, granddaughter Lucia was talking to me (Grandpa). She said, “You know Grandpa, Mr. Grumpy is grumpy on the outside, but on the inside he really likes kids. He just does that because he doesn’t want anyone to know how nice he really is.” Well said, if I don’t say so myself.  I wonder who she inherited that from?  Any guesses? :)

I wonder what the world would be like if we loved the Mr. Grumpys of the world. We use our exteriors to hide our interiors. Sometimes that is the safe thing to do. Perhaps we’ve conditioned ourselves to rarely show our insides when it would be valuable to us and others if we let them take a peek.  

For most of my life, I’ve hidden behind a facade to survive while I was growing up. It gets really tiring to always keep your guard up. You miss so much, and so do the people around you. You may get misunderstood from time-to-time, but the benefits of disclosure usually outweigh the liabilities.

If we love Mr. Grumpys the world, we will survive the pandemic and any other difficulty that comes our way. So go out there and find a Mr. or Mrs. Grumpy. Look for those good qualities in them. If you don’t, it will “Really make me mad!” 

THE POTENTIAL OF KINDNESS

 

“Mighty oaks –from little acorns grow.” That is a 14^th century English proverb. Probably the younger generation, you know those younger than dirt, never heard it before. It speaks of big things coming from small beginnings.

My wife’s family can from Russia about the time of the Bolshevik Revolution. They were Germans who lived near the border with China. The Russians had a reason to place the Germans there, they served as a buffer between themselves and the Chinese. Often, there would be Chinese raiding parties that would steal from the German farmers. One time, Mr. Miller saw and chased after them. One of the border raiders fell and was injured. He was fearful to see Miller coming. Instead of showing retribution, he showed kindness to the Chinese. They took him in, bandaged his wounds, and helped him recover, after which, he returned to his family. Would you believe it? The Millers no longer had raids on their property. Their act of kindness built bridges to those opposed to themselves.

I like that story. It reminds me of the Good Samaritan who helped an injured Jew recover from his attackers along the Jericho road. Though the two were cultural enemies, kindness made a new friend. You can read more about that in the New Testament book of Luke, chapter 10, verses 30 – 37.

WHAT ARE SOME WAYS WE CAN PAY IT FORWARD during this trying time? 

 I would love to hear your stories and ideas. Simply “reply” below.

(c) Wally Johnston 2021

WHAT OUR KIDS NEED TO HEAR

 What words, directed towards you, would you like to hear often? How often do you hear them? These are so important questions, especially during a pandemic. Words can be like a construction company or a demolition company. It’s true, words can build up or tear down.

We know that kids are greatly affected by this virus. Every time my 5-year-old granddaughter prays, she always includes, “And please help this virus stop.” To the rest of us, she has said, “This virus is kicking my butt!” 
 Children need to hear positive affirmations from the adults in their lives. Check out this chart below for some ideas:

Graphic credit: http://raising-independent-kids.com

These are awesome affirmations. I want to encourage all of us to use some of these every day, not only on our kids but the other adults in our lives.

WE’RE IN THIS TOGETHER!

(c) 2021 Wally Johnston

BARS OR STARS?

 “Two men looked out from prison bars,

One saw the mud, the other saw stars.”

― Dale Carnegie, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Have you ever run into an author? I don’t mean literally run your car into one, I mean someone recommended, or something you see on the Internet social media. Well, I’ve done that recently. I listen to podcasts and I came across a John O’Leary. He’s a motivational speaker who as a child of nine, was burned on 100% of his body.  I was attracted to that because as a young boy I got second and third-degree burns on my foot. It was one of those freak accidents. I went outside and saw a bunch of my friends all huddled around a brick grill. As I approached the group I couldn’t see what they were doing. Suddenly the group split in two, like Moses parting the Red Sea. They were putting plastic army men in fire and watching the army guys melt. Someone had a piece of that molten plastic on a stick and flipped it. As it came by the boys, they quickly moved out of the way so that I could catch the blob of hot plastic in my boot. I had cowboy boots on with no socks and I am telling you it really, really hurt. I started jumping around like a wild steer. I don’t know how many hops it took me to get home but I moved as fast as I could with tears running down my face. Unfortunately, when I kicked my boot off it took my skin and flesh with it. For months I had to have my wound cleaned and dressed every time they pulled off the gauze it hurt like crazy. It would take off part of the scab. I can identify with someone like John O’Leary. If you get a chance come by and I’ll show you my scar. (Full disclosure, I do charge $.50 to have a look. 😄

John's first book, ON FIRE, tells us about his experience. His new book is entitled IN AWE.  I thought about how we have lost our childlikeness. Kids have elements in their lives that helped them explore and try new things and look at things in different ways. On the other hand, we adults get crusty and live in the ruts we have created over time. I want to take this opportunity to share a small review of John’s book and recommend it. You'll see how timely it is.

Here is the Table of Contents:

Sense #1: Wonder: Asking Questions to Achieve the Impossible - "By wonder, I mean something we do. I’m talking about our ability to be curious, to inquire, to probe, challenge, and even doubt."

Sense # 2: Expectancy: Returning to the Powerful State of First-Time Living - "Children are connected to their sense of expectancy, and that sense is tuned to expect excitement and adventure."

Sense #3: Immersion: Cultivating Your Attention to Be Fully Engaged in Every Moment - "We were not made to be in a thousand places at once. We were made to be here, in this moment, right now. No one exemplifies this the way children do."

Sense #4: Belonging: Opening the Gift of Truly Letting People In - "In no other area can we learn more from our children than through their acceptance of others, and most important, of themselves."

Sense #5: Freedom: Stepping Off the Sideline and Getting Back in the Game - "Inherent within each of us is the ability to get back to that state: to dare greatly, go big, and run forward unhindered by expectations, judgment, and fear."

Do yourself a favor and get this book.  Enjoy the ride!

There are two types of people in this world, those who like Dr. Pepper and those who don't.

(c) Wally Johnston 2020

WHAT IS ON YOUR COVER?

 There are some really strange book titles, for example...

Here are a few more: 

The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and Other Clinical Tales 

How to Avoid Huge Ships

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake

He kids, don't try this one...How to Shave Grandma

Want to see some more? Simply do a search, "unusual book titles." Be prepared for what you are going to see!

Some years ago, at a church staff retreat, the pastor said, "If you were to give your spouse a book about her, what would their title be?"  Thinking about my wife I said, Love in Extra Innings.  She has endured a lot (by the way don't ask her what's she has endured, I paid her off in advance!).

What would your friends and loved ones say would be your title?  We are all mixed bags with some good and not so good terms. What would you like your title to be?  For me, one I hope one would be, He Shared the Heart of Jesus.  That epitaph on my gravestone would be better than, "I told her I was sick!"

Go out this week and share your title.  Our world needs your book.

(c) Wally Johnston 2020

"There are two kinds of people in this world, those who like Dr. Pepper and those who don't."