Many Forms of Mother

 

For many, the word Mom or Mother represents a term of endearment.  This probably explains why Mother’s Day gets top billing over Father’s Day. 

Americans spent $33.5 billion on Mother's Day-related gifts and activities in 2024. The numbers for Father's Day were $22.4 billion last year.  There are some reasons for this with guilt being a top motivator.  We’ll leave it at that. 

Mothers fulfill an important role in our lives, as do all women.  A woman doesn’t have to be a mom to be a mom.  My friend, Donna, has made a couple of trips to Nepal to help out the churches there, where Christians are persecuted.  The person in leadership of over 100 churches there calls Donna, “Mom.”  It would not be proper to call her by her first name, so she is given that title.  She has made a great impact on his life.

We have a friend from Tanzania, Africa.  His home language is Swahili.  We don’t speak Swahili. Our language is Hoosier (look it up).  In their country, they show respect to an older woman or man as “Mama” or “Papa.” Linda is Mama, and I am Papa. These are terms of endearment.

When Jesus was on the cross, he looked down at his mother and the Apostle John standing with her.

            ²⁵ Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. ²⁶ When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” ²⁷ and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home. (John 19:25-27 NIV)

Jesus was asking John to take care of his mother.  He was also asking his mom to take care of him.

Women who play a significant role in someone’s life can be a mom, mother, or mama.  They become our nurturers, cheerleaders, and inspirers in our lives.  They are there for us, love us, and guide us.  (Check out my story about Grandma Frye in the February 16, 2024 post, “Circle of Friends” to illustrate this).

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO YOU!

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Dysfunctional and Blessed Thanksgiving

 

Thanksgiving is a time for families.  That can be good or difficult, depending on the situation.  When I was working as a law enforcement chaplain, I often saw families at their worst, especially during the holidays.  The Norman Rockwell painting of the family gathered around the Thanksgiving table doesn’t fit for all Americans.  We want to think it applies.  

I have been watching a series called, “The Secret History of Family,” produced by the BBC.  The episodes are based on three young women sisters who grew up in East London in the 1800’s.  It is not a nice place.  You wouldn’t want to rent a B&B there.  They live in poverty and all end up spending time in prison for their imaginative ways of making money that happen to be illegal.  

The story is a look back from the perspective of their decedents.  Some ended up well-to-do and others much dysfunction and estrangement.  It is a journey into story as one views each episode and realizes how knowing one’s story can bring understanding and healing.

My family has a long and short story in America.  My grandfather on my mother’s side, came to the U.S. in the late 1800’s.  My mother’s other side were Pilgrims who came on the Mayflower in 1620.  My father’s family came from before the American Revolution.  At least one was a Patriot who fought in the Revolution and his son in the War of 1812.  So I guess you could say they had plenty of  time to mess up!

What is your story as you gather around the table this Thanksgiving?  Mine includes estrangement, addiction, betrayal, chronic illness, along with other challenges.  It is also mixed with love, blessings, and hope.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  No gifts or expectation of gifts are needed.  It is simply time for families to gather and be thankful.  If it becomes a gripe session or political wrestling match, that isn’t being thankful.  Let’s put all of that aside and breathe a sigh of thanksgiving.

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What are you thankful for and why?  Please share with us all by clicking on the pencil icon below to reply.  We look forward to hearing what you have to say.

THE EXPENSE OF INDEPENDENCE

 

Today is Independence Day, for those living in the United States.    John Adams wanted July 2nd to be the official start of our nation since the Declaration of Independence was ratified on July 2, 1776.  Here is what he said;

“[Independence Day] will be the most memorable Epoch, in the History of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival… It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade with shows, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this continent to the other from this Time forward forever more,”

 What words come to your mind when you hear, "The Fourth of July?" Fireworks, ice cream, parades, cook outs, etc.  Probably few of us think of "sacrifice."  Yet without it our nation would not have come into existence.  

Someone in our family's past sacrificed for us to have a free America.  Who was it for you?  We are a land of immigrants.  Some, like myself, had people here from the beginning.  My 10th great grandparents came over on the Mayflower in 1620 and my 5th great grandfather William P. Johnston, fought in the Revolutionary War.  Some may be newcomers to our country.  Maybe you are the one who sacrificed for your family.  The problem, it's not a "One-and-Done."  Once our freedoms were established, we have to keep fighting to protect those freedoms.

The Founding Fathers disagreed on many things, but they knew compromises were needed to see the work of freedom happen.  Our nation has revealed growing pains through the years.  With those pains have come division (just look at the Civil War).  Siblings can have some painful fights, but if an outsider threatens, they pull together.  We saw this in most of our wars and even 9/11.  

In 1858 when Abraham Lincoln was running for the U.S. Senate, he gave his "House Divided Speech. In it he said, in part, "A house divided against itself, cannot stand," in reference to Jesus' words in the Bible.

Replica of Lincoln Inaugural Bible, (C) 2024 Wally Johnston

In many ways, we are divided today, at least if you read social media and the news.  Personally, I don't think the division is as bad as it appears, but it is divided.  If the divide gets too large, our "house" will fall.  With that in mind, what are you willing to sacrifice to save this great nation?

CIRCLE OF FRIENDS

 

I had a tight circle of neighborhood friends when I was growing up.  I was part of a trio of three best friends.  We played ball, fished, camped, and made up adventures together.  Both were at our wedding (more about them later).

I learned to appreciate my circle of siblings later in life.  There is quite an age difference between us.  Only three remain out of six kids: Karol, Jim, and yours truly.  Jim and I had our little brother, big brother stuff. Once at dinner, he said he had an upset tummy, was dismissed, then ran out to play ball. I knew he was faking, so I  ran after him and yelled, "You Faker," while hitting him over the head. We survived and we are good adult friends.  Karol has stood by me during difficult times. What can I say?  I love my Sis.

Friends come wrapped in different surprise packages.  Doug and I got together over our differences regarding climate change. I could call him an "Alarmist," and he could call me a "Denier."  Neither is accurate.  That subject is long past.  We now share many things, including prayers for each other. 

I'm at the age where I keep losing people.  Our bodies wear out, much like clothing.  I have my favorite shirts and wear them over and over.  Each time they are washed, fibers of the fabric come off and end up in the lint trap.   I clean the screen and toss the lint away, and regrettably, I have to pitch my favored shirts when they wear out.  Slowly, and sometimes quickly, our bodies break down until there isn't anything left. 

Soon, my wife and I celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary (Applause!).  While waiting for our meal at a restaurant, we decided to imagine we were at a huge round table with family and friends who had made an impact on our lives. (Disclaimer: this is not an exhaustive list, but I want you to stay with me).  My earliest friends were Dale and Mike, the other two of the tight trio. neighbors on our dead-end street.  These are the friends you take everywhere you go, though miles separate.  Grandma Frye was a special friend.  She wasn’t my grandma, but a neighbor who lived across the alley from us.  She lived in a garage apartment next to her son’s home.  When I visited, she had a treat and would tell me Bible stories and listen to Billy Graham on the radio.  It was a place I could go to be a child.

Where we live now, we have a neighborhood "Mayor" named Bill.  He's the go-to guy to discover the latest gossip, I mean news.  I'm the "Cop."  I keep my eyes on the neighborhood.  My wife is the "Person of Peace" who learns about the concerns of our neighbors and does something about it, with the permission of the Mayor and the Cop (who agree if they want peace in the neighborhood).  In reality, everyone in the hood has a role and a story.  We are a loosely connected circle that becomes a tighter circle when the need arises.  

We belong to other circles outside the neighborhood.  They make a constellation in our lives that makes our universe better and happier. 

(What Circle of Friends do you have?  Please share YOUR story by clicking on the pencil icon below).  

 

     

   

     

THE BARN OF MEMORIES

 

I recently have been introduced to the program "The Repair Shop." It combines two things I enjoy: tinkering and stories.  It is a British program about a place that repairs or restores items of priceless memories.  People bring their family treasures to the barn, and the artisans begin working to restore it to its glory days.  When they drop off their items, the people explain the significance to the team.  In other words, they share the story about the items and the loved ones attached to them.

People get attached to items that remind them of a past loved one.  It helps them feel connected to that person.  It could be anything from an old toy to a rare painting.  

There are various artisans in the barn: mechanical engineers, seamstresses, woodworkers, restorers of furniture, ceramics, and the list goes on.

When people come in, they explain the story and significance of their item.  When they return, their precious item is unveiled to declare its new life.  The artisans are paid by the production company, but the real pay is seeing the reactions on the faces of the item owners.  In a sense, they now share part of their story.

I don't have many items to remind me of my parents, so these stories mean something to me. 

What objects do you have that contain a story for you? We would like to hear about your story items.  Please post in the comment section below (click the pencil).