TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF...IT'S CHRISTMAS

 

I nearly missed being home for Christmas this year! I spent three days last week in the hospital. It started with a three-hour wait in the emergency room. I felt I needed help since I had been vomiting uncontrollably (how do you control vomit?). My tummy was not enjoying a night at the opera. Then I looked across the room and saw a young man sitting with his wife, holding a bucket on his lap and his face in the bucket. I had a bucket too but mine was still unused. I now didn’t feel so bad (pardon me for being so insensitive, but it was true. Anytime you want to feel better you look for someone worse off).

I felt out of control, like so many times before. That’s saying something for someone who is used to taking care of EVERYBODY ELSE. It’s not that I felt better than others, I just believed I had to take care of them. It’s called being co-dependent, and it sucks! Sometimes the person who appears to be most in control is least in control. That’s another story for another time.  

Melody Beattie, world-renown author and codependent, had a great story in her classic work, CODEPENDENT NO MORE. She describes a story about some young men who decided to trick an old hermit. He lived up in a mountain cave. The boys reached his place, and one guy grabbed this small bird. He said, "I have an idea to use on this wise hermit.” As they entered, the old man greeted them. He asked, “Is there something I can help you with?” The boy stepped forward, put out his hand, and said, “I have this little bird in my hand. Tell me, old man, is the bird alive or dead (If he said alive he would crush it). The hermit looked him in the eye and said, “That is up to you.” 

 We have a choice to hold on or let go of our control.

Mary, as in Mary and Joseph, must have felt out of control. How would you feel if you were a teenage virgin girl who was visited by an angel and told you were going to get pregnant? On top of that, Joseph wasn’t going to be the father. The father was going to be...well...God! Try explaining that to your folks. Mary did the right thing, SHE TOOK HER HANDS OFF. At such a young age she learned to let God have control. That must have been so freeing for her. 

You don't have to be codependent to want to control things.  Life can go sideways on us and we try to control the circumstances and outcomes.  There may be estrangement in the family; job loss; health issues; political problems, etc.  God's Christmas message is "Take your hands off." We need to trust Him even when He doesn't make sense, and that happens often.

Are you tired of trying to do it all, to keep all the plates spinning in the air at the same time? As a child, I tried to protect my Mom and brother. It didn’t stop there. I soon began to take on the world. It reminds me of that great post-reformation preacher, John Wesley, who said, “The world is my Parrish.” Wesley and I had something in common, we both took on too much.  How about you? Maybe it's time to "Let go and let God."

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Tim Keller has a great Advent devotional thought about Mary and her response to what was happening in her life. I strongly encourage you to listen to it.

The Fruit of Submission
You can jump to 8:28- 12:04 for the specific comments.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

BOYS 'N BIKES

One of the great joys of growing up in Indiana was riding bikes. I know boys ride bikes elsewhere, but this is My story :) Riding bikes was second only to playing baseball. Baseball was sacred…we were all Cubs fans!

Back to bikes. We would attach a playing card at the back wheel so it would hit the spokes. I can see you are not impressed but we thought it sounded like a motorcycle. We jumped ramps in the street like Evil Knievel (if you don’t know who he was, ask someone older). We had races. The great challenge was seeing who could ride the most circles in Fergeson’s driveway. I think I held the title at 300 times. The Guinness Book of Records wouldn’t come so we told our friends and family. I think that record stands because everyone else moved on. Who wants to waste their time going around in a circle? Where is the dedication?

I read a story recently about two boys in Indiana who rode bikes together. They were going by a cemetery where a fallen soldier was being laid to rest. The boys approached as they begin playing Taps. Without communicating with each other, they laid their bikes down at the same time and stood at attention. At the conclusion of the music, they hopped back on their bikes and rode on. Little did they know a neighbor saw what was happening and took their picture.

 In an age where some picket at funerals of fallen soldiers or police, these boys paid their respects. I would say what they did was more important than riding a bike in circles.

The original story can be seen at Good News Network

DO YOU NEED A NUDGE?

 

Have you seen those little solar-powered caricatures that move?  Perhaps you have seen them at the floral or toy department in a store.  Maybe you have one. We have a solar-powered snowman.  He sits on top of our piano by the window waiting for morning to come so he can get started on his day.  I get up, start the coffee maker, and open the blinds.  The snowman barely moves, much like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz waiting for someone to pick up the oil can and get him going.  I give him a nudge, and he takes off with his happy dance.  He smiles all the time, but it seems that his smile is a little bigger after he gets a push ( maybe not, but it makes for a good story!).

I’m sure we can identify with the snowman.  There are days we can’t seem to get started, so we need a little nudge to get us going.  For many of us, our first nudge of the day is coffee.  Nothing like a drug to get us started.  There are times when coffee isn’t what we need.  We need a human nudger.  Who is that for you?

• Only people we trust can nudge us: You don’t want someone you don’t like to come up behind you.  An 18 yr old Oregon girl pushed her friend off of a bridge.  She fell 50 feet into the river below.  She was hospitalized with broken ribs and a punctured lung.  Needless to say, that was poor timing for a nudge!

• A nudger will ask permission to nudge.  Permission is important.  Has your spouse ever volunteered you to do something without asking you first?  How did you feel about that?

• Be a sport and don’t be offended by our nudger. Someone once insisted I share my opinion about something sensitive.  I didn’t want to do it, but they said, “Please, I won’t be offended.”  I shared my thoughts and the next words I heard from the phone earpiece was, “I’m offended by that!”

• We must be willing to follow through on our nudger’s advice. I heard about a small town that hired a professor from a university to come and evaluate their police department.  They wanted to dismiss him, but they had no cause.  After spending great amounts of time interviewing the city council, members of the police department, and local citizens, the report was finished.  The report commended the Chief and said the council should support his efforts.  Shortly after the findings were announced, the city council fired the chief anyway. 

• Our nudger needs to be wise…at least wiser than us!

• Nudgers will applaud their Nudgees. There’s nothing like hearing, “Well done.”

• Be willing to pay it forward and nudge someone else… and don’t forget to applaud them.

Remember, a nudge can come from your conscience, your friend, or God.  It all comes down to who you need to listen to in each particular situation.

 

The Transformative Power of Connectedness

As our life progresses, we come into contact with others and their stories.  As we build relationships, we walk into their stories and they walk in ours.  Even if there is a break in the relationship or we go our separate ways, part of each other's lives remain.  We become connected. That's why relationships are so important, and all relationships are connected to a story.  Some stories bring joy and others pain, but we can grow through either. 

I realize not everyone is into poetry.  That's okay, I'm not into math!  A little bit can go a long way.  Below is a little bit of poetry by the 10th Poet Laureate of the United States:  

 Stanley Kunitz put it in ‘The Layers’, ‘I have walked through many lives, some of them my own, and I am not who I was.’

If you have read any of my posts, my book, or other writings, then you have walked into my life.  I would like to walk into your life.  Would you share your story with us?  You can send it to journeyintostory@gmail.com.  We would love to hear from you!

HUMAN BRIDGE

 Many years ago, in the days of black and white TV, I saw a video about a brother and sister walking around a low ledge on a building. They were doing fine until they came to a break in the ledge. The boy takes one leap to the other side, but the little girl is intimidated by the gap. So the boy jumps back, lays down over the gap so his little sister can cross over by walking on him. It’s a cute video. View it below:

I think we can learn a lot from this boy’s example.

Comments:

• We need to regain the notion of self-sacrifice

  I’ve seen what happens to kids who have been given everything. When I was a youth pastor in Southern California, we had a kid in our group named “Joey.” One day he “borrowed” a limousine and took some of the kids for a joy ride. Another time, after I had a sharing time with the group, Joey came up to me and said, “After what you said, I think I should give you this,” as he handed me a knife, I’m talking the kind you get in trouble with! Every time Joey got in trouble, his Mother would cover for him. After I moved away, I heard he did something his Mother couldn’t shield him from—he ended up in prison for armed robbery! His mother sacrificed herself for the wrong reasons and did her son no favors. Joey was too self-centered to sacrifice for another.

• There are advantages to chivalry

  I know I’m old school, but I miss the days when women were shown respect. It shouldn’t be a big sacrifice to be polite to others. Nowadays, if I open the door for a woman, I mean a gal, no I mean...well you know what I mean, in public, she might give me a stare like, “Don’t you think I can handle this myself!” Still, others show a grateful smile as they go through the door.

• Jesus laid down his life for us.                                              He sacrificially gave (laid down) his life so He could bridge the gulf between us and God.  We just have to be willing to cross the Bridge in faith.

Who can we encourage today by being a “Human Bridge?” We shouldn’t let people walk all over us, but there are little “sacrifices” that can make someone’s day, and yours.

MR. GRUMPY

I play an imaginary character for my grandkids, Mr. Grumpy. He comes out with these funny translucent eyeglasses and yells, “Hey you snot-nosed kids!’ (Refer to photo).  One of his favorite phrases is, “That makes me really mad!” He reminds me of Mr. Wilson in Dennis the Menace. He’s the neighbor who can’t stand Dennis, on the outside. But deep inside he really cares for him. My kids love Mr. Grumpy, sometimes more than me (well, maybe not). Sometimes, when Mr. Grumpy heads to another room to become Grandpa again, my five-year-old- granddaughter grabs me and says, “No. Don’t go!”

Mr. Grumpy

One day, granddaughter Lucia was talking to me (Grandpa). She said, “You know Grandpa, Mr. Grumpy is grumpy on the outside, but on the inside he really likes kids. He just does that because he doesn’t want anyone to know how nice he really is.” Well said, if I don’t say so myself.  I wonder who she inherited that from?  Any guesses? :)

I wonder what the world would be like if we loved the Mr. Grumpys of the world. We use our exteriors to hide our interiors. Sometimes that is the safe thing to do. Perhaps we’ve conditioned ourselves to rarely show our insides when it would be valuable to us and others if we let them take a peek.  

For most of my life, I’ve hidden behind a facade to survive while I was growing up. It gets really tiring to always keep your guard up. You miss so much, and so do the people around you. You may get misunderstood from time-to-time, but the benefits of disclosure usually outweigh the liabilities.

If we love Mr. Grumpys the world, we will survive the pandemic and any other difficulty that comes our way. So go out there and find a Mr. or Mrs. Grumpy. Look for those good qualities in them. If you don’t, it will “Really make me mad!” 

THE POTENTIAL OF KINDNESS

 

“Mighty oaks –from little acorns grow.” That is a 14^th century English proverb. Probably the younger generation, you know those younger than dirt, never heard it before. It speaks of big things coming from small beginnings.

My wife’s family can from Russia about the time of the Bolshevik Revolution. They were Germans who lived near the border with China. The Russians had a reason to place the Germans there, they served as a buffer between themselves and the Chinese. Often, there would be Chinese raiding parties that would steal from the German farmers. One time, Mr. Miller saw and chased after them. One of the border raiders fell and was injured. He was fearful to see Miller coming. Instead of showing retribution, he showed kindness to the Chinese. They took him in, bandaged his wounds, and helped him recover, after which, he returned to his family. Would you believe it? The Millers no longer had raids on their property. Their act of kindness built bridges to those opposed to themselves.

I like that story. It reminds me of the Good Samaritan who helped an injured Jew recover from his attackers along the Jericho road. Though the two were cultural enemies, kindness made a new friend. You can read more about that in the New Testament book of Luke, chapter 10, verses 30 – 37.

WHAT ARE SOME WAYS WE CAN PAY IT FORWARD during this trying time? 

 I would love to hear your stories and ideas. Simply “reply” below.

(c) Wally Johnston 2021